Drunken Fools
by Kefka is in my Harem
Summary: Sephiroth, Seymour, and Kefka walk into a bar...


**Authors Notes: - **Ok the only final fantasy games I've played are 7, 8, 9. However I stopped playing 9 just after you got to re-name Garnet. I hate that game. I also hate FF8 but that's got nothing to do with anything. Anyway I think I'll write another one just like this with Squall, Tidus and Cloud :) Tell me if you think that is a good idea. Maybe I'll do Yuna, Rinoa and Garnet after that one!

**Drunken Fools**

Three man sat at a bar drinking and talking. To call their appearance unusual was an understatement. The one on the far right was wearing almost all black, carrying a sword as tall as he and had long silver hair that brushed up against the ground as he sat. He was drinking a beer and watching the man next to him with a disdainful look. The man in the middle was even more outlandish looking, with hair similar in structure to the first man's but a strange light blue color with even more severe bangs than his companion. His clothes consisted of mostly oversized garments that looked like they would swallow him up at any moment, leaving behind nothing more than a pile of multicolored material. He was sobbing into his arms with a row of spent tequila shots before him. The last man sipped delicately at a brightly colored cocktail drink with various fruits perched on the edges of the over sized glass. Sitting beside him, his friends looked almost normal. His face was painted white then accented with red marks. Even more strangely was his outfit that looked more suited on a collection of circus clowns than on any sane individual. He casually kicked his left foot back and forth, which was crossed over his right in an almost feminine pose.

"Oh what are you sobbing about now Seymour?" The clownish man asked in a disinterested tone.

"I'm just a clone! A fucking clone!" The blue haired main wept, his face still buried in his voluminous sleeves.

"Oh not this again..." The man to his left sighed and took a sip from his cocktail.

Seymour sat up and glared at him. "And the cut of my clothes makes me look _pudgy!" He sobbed more and took another shot of tequila. "It's not fair!"_

The previously silent and almost normal looking man gave him a sideways glare. "Come now, you hardly look that much like me."

"Oh shut up Sephiroth! You're their _favorite_!" Seymour sneered hatefully. "They always liked you best! Hell you've your own theme song! What do _I_ have!? Pudgy pants!"

"Oh shut up Seymour!" The clown-man snapped. "At least you don't look like a bloody clown! What am I proof that clowns are truly evil!?"

"At least you don't have veinage on your face Kefka!" Seymour yelled at the gaudily dressed man.

"I rather have those markings than makeup! I look gay!" Kefka hollered back.

The blue-haired man smirked darkly. "At least I got that going for me; sitting next to you I look strait and normal!"

Kefka snickered at him. "At least I had insanity as my excuse! What do you have?"

"Hey I was insane too!" He snapped.

"Oh please! I'm the poster child for insanity! All you are is Mr. Pudgy!" Kefka laughed madly.

"I'm not fat! It's just these bloody clothes!"

"Whatever Mr. Pudgy..." He turned away from the fuming man and sipped at his drink.

"I do have to admit, at least there is no question as to my gender." Sephiroth mused.

"True..." Kefka chuckled. "Kujah did get fucked worse than we did."

Seymour suddenly cried even harder. "I'm even a clone of him!"

The two men glanced at him puzzled and both raised an eyebrow. He looked at them. "My clothes! Their just a less slutty version of his!"

Sephiroth chuckled. "Man, you're no where near an original boss."

"He's not even the main boss of the game like us." Kefka smirked.

Seymour fell into a fit of sobbing, crying and saying things is a high pitched depressed voice that neither one of them could understand.

"We really need to stop bringing him here, this happens every time." Kefka sighed.

"True... How about we strip him naked and tie him to a flagpole?" Sephiroth suggested with an evil grin.

Kefka jumped to his feet. "Hell yeah! Let's go!"

The two grabbed a hold of the barely conscious still crying man and dragged him out of the bar grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats.


End file.
